I’m not setting the clocks ahead until an hour before my kids’ bedtime.
@michaelbeatrice
Search Results For - Michael Beatrice
Every hug I give my daughter is just more insurance she won’t date a drummer.
@michaelbeatrice
I don’t want brag, but my three-year-old is watching television at a five-year-old level.
@michaelbeatrice
When my wife’s out of the house, my kids treat me like an Oscars seat filler.
@michaelbeatrice
My blood type is Maxwell House.
@michaelbeatrice
Watching commercials of olympic athletes learning to ski and skate as toddlers. Meanwhile, my kid just goet stuck in the dog door.
@_michaelbeatrice
When I was a kid, babyproofing meant posting the number for poison control on the fridge.
@_michaelbeatrice
It’s fun to imagine which affordable online college my child will go to.
@_michaelbeatrice
The real terrorists are parents who send birthday party invitations stuffed with confetti.
@_michaelbeatrice