Our daughter isn't following instructions at swim class, so we've been looking for appropriate water safety videos online. Finally gave up and just showed her the first...
Mike Beatrice is a Bostonian living in Hollywood. He's written for Playboy TV, TheStream.tv, SchmoesKnow.com, and is a regular contributor here at The DadLands. He and his wife raise two toddler girls, two dogs, and a dozen chickens.
Use the links below to follow Mike on Twitter (@MichaelBeatrice) and on Instagram (_MichaelBeatrice).
I've been a husband for five years, a dad for three years, and now I know why men die first.
The car wash guy asked me what I wanted my car to smell like, so I said "No kids."
Her: I love you, Mommy. Us: Aw. Her: I love you, Daddy. Us: Aw. Her: I love you, table. Us: Huh? Her: I love you, bread. Us: Wait. Her: I love you, toilet. Us: Dammit.
Super excited to see Avengers: Infinity War... in six months, on our couch, over several nights.
I'm not old, but I'm not as "not old" as I used to be. Get more Funny or Cry memes on The DadLands!
I enjoy fantasy sports. The fantasy is my kids letting me watch one game in peace.
My kids were driving me crazy, so I took them to see "A Quiet Place." They haven't made a sound in three days.
"We should have dated longer." - My wife, several times a week. Get more Funny or Cry memes on The DadLands!
My kids don't want me to get rid of it, but I think it's time. (Our Christmas tree)