I convinced my 3-year-old this song was actually about a boy and a girl who love candy. Probably not working in Butt Town or Pussy Power anytime soon, tho.
Mike Beatrice is a Bostonian living in Hollywood. He's written for Playboy TV, TheStream.tv, SchmoesKnow.com, and is a regular contributor here at The DadLands. He and his wife raise two toddler girls, two dogs, and a dozen chickens.
Use the links below to follow Mike on Twitter (@MichaelBeatrice) and on Instagram (_MichaelBeatrice).
In retrospect, maybe telling my kids it was made from 100% unicorn wasn't the best joke.
Two is Enough on The DadLands | Parenting Math: 1 kid + 1 kid = 2 many! (for me)
I've been buying affordable store brand cereal. I've become everything I ever hated.
Summer is a bad time to stay home from work. Save those precious sick days for when your kids are back in school. I'll be working until mid-September.
On fourth of July, the nice thing about having toddlers is that the dog has someone to hide with when the fireworks start.
When you want to feed your baby Cheetos, but don't want to look like you're feeding your baby Cheetos. Feed your baby AND yourself.
Only 65 parenting days left until the first day of school. We're all in this together. Stay strong.
Thanks for telling me to "get woke," but I have a baby; I "get woke" like five times a night.
My kids wake me up at 6 a.m. and the liquor stores open at 6 a.m. Coincidence? I think not.